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 What went wrong? I followed all of the recommendations when one has unrelenting pain. Go to the doctor, have tests, and get a diagnosis. In April of 2007 I hit the lottery! I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after having just made the 5 year mark from Breast Cancer. That was not the diagnosis the doctors or I expected.
Now, please understand, this is not a cancer with a high survival rate. I was angry and afraid of suffering with a lot of pain, and then not living very long with quality of life. Professionally, I teach stress management to college students, cancer patients, families, caregivers, and corporate support staff. I am a health educator, certified laughter leader, and professional speaker, who professes the benefits of having a strong positive, can do attitude, and believe a good sense of humor and laughter are supreme coping skills when life throws you a bunch of lemons. I was just thrown a whole barrel of rotten lemons!
In between living on Ensure® and beginning chemotherapy, I needed to watch comedies, tell funny stories, and focus on preparing for my training engagement in Las Vegas. After two infusions and a major allergic reaction to the chemotherapy, I created a new vocabulary for gentle chemo and proceeded to tell my medical oncologist no more. With the aid of other treatment modalities, I went to Las Vegas. I trained middle school health teachers how to teach health subjects using evidenced-based humor and improvisational exercises. I got a standing ovation.
On my return home, many complications and surgeries ensued in the following months. I was living at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (biological and physiological needs). I couldn’t work. I wasn’t laughing very much. Yes, and I was also very blessed with continuous loving support, kindness, and prayers from my family, and friends from all over the country, and the extended families I have developed from work and professional organizations. I was healing.
Along the way, I discovered a cancer support community called Hopewell Cancer Support. Hopewell has support groups for all kinds of cancer, and classes to help cancer survivors heal. I learned the difference between healing and curing in a broad sense. I learned that I had to attend to my mind, body, and spirit in order to feel whole and harness positive energy. Eating more whole foods and minimizing refined sugar became the standard operating eating procedure. I began to attend Gentle Hatha Yoga and Mindfulness Meditation classes several times a week. I began to read about intuitive healing, healing from within, the healing power of the mind, mindfulness meditation, and began acupuncture. I’ve got plenty of Yang; I need more Yin!
My positive attitude remained intact. I went to cancer talks’ at area hospitals. I introduced myself as a cancer survivor and speak on: Healing with Wit and Wisdom. I began to get training and speaking engagements for October, 2007 and December 2007. I was alive, and I was getting more inquiries to speak at hospital sponsored education sessions for September, October and November of 2008. This was a good feeling and a feeling of confidence about having the energy to train and teach.
The rains came down in January of 2009. Pancreatic Cancer reared its ugly head again, but it couldn’t wipe out my positive attitude, or will to live, or write books that would help enhance the healing journey of every cancer patient, their families, and friends.
I did it! I did it with a co-author (Izzy Gesell); we wrote a new book that could help every person who had a cancer connection. We called it Cancer and the Healing Power of Play a Prescription for Living Joyously with Presence, Acceptance, and Trust. It got great reviews from patients, families, and counselors.
One mission left to do make sure everyone finds an away to put play in their life and discovers the joy when they experience positive fun even in the face of adversity.
I remain a breast and pancreatic cancer survivor who is passionate about helping other people include joy in their life. In my own journey through cancer, I could not have gotten to where I am today without the thousands who prayed for me, my unshakable faith, and the love that poured out from my friends, family, co-workers, strangers from all over the world, and the wisdom of my doctors. I cannot omit my zeal for embracing a compassionate sense of humor and the love of play that continuously provided a sense of joy and the hope that I could heal, feel fulfilled, and be at peace on a daily basis.
These are the lessons I learned as healing pathways along my cancer journey. This is what helped me live while alive until a cure is found.
- Be open to infinite opportunities to contribute your gifts to the world
- To be able to detach from expected outcomes and have energy to discover new productive paths
- To play every day, finding joy in all that is around us whether it is picking flowers, playing scrabble, or making up an Improv game
- When I pray, I am talking to God
- When I meditate, I am listening to God
- Life force is breath, concentrate on the breath and harness positive energy
- To live in the present moment without judgment
- I choose in any given moment what I want to pay attention to
- Thoughts matter and what we think colors our experiences
- Life experiences are impermanent? no need to waste energy or worry
- To use guided visualization to drop into my body and heal every cell
Life is perfect as it is.
I hope you make the decision to heal everyday along your journey and live in present moment with love and kindness.
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